The Fullmetal Swordsman
by Inuyasha loves sake
Summary: Late one night Edward hears voices, and it ends up throwing him into a lot of chaos! But is it really what it seems? zeldaLTTP Xover. slight edXal. HIATUS, NOT DISCONTINUED.
1. The Legend of Link

**DISCLAIMER!** Hiromu Arakawa and...uh...Nintendo?

**WARNINGS!** hm...hints of elricest?

**A/N!** This is Fullmetal Alchemist crossed-over with The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. Yes, I have officially achieved new levels of crossover WEIRDNESS! Now I can be in the hall of fame with that one girl that crosses over stuff with Disney movies! YOSH'!

**-PLaY-**

**CHaPTeR oNe: THe LeGeND oF LiNK**

Edward Elric sat up late this night staring through the window at the stars from the Rockbell's home in Risembool. He thought it was a perfectly LOVELY night- the prettyful moon shone bright, the crickets were making noise, the temperature outside was just UBER, and most perfectly of all- they had just gotten his little brother's body back earlier that lovely day and ya know what? Just nothing could ruin his happiness.

He thought.

So with his green jammies and night cap, his kissed his already asleep otouto goodnight and crawled into bed. It wasn't too long before the vertically-challenged alchemist was nearly fast asleep, and then he heard it...

_Help me..._

He blinked his eyes rapidly, fully awake now. What was THAT? He listened again for a minute, and when it remained completely quiet save for the crickets and Al's steady breathing, he closed his eyes and let himself start to drift off again.

_Please help me..._

"Okay! I know I heard it that time!" he yelled, springing up into a sitting position. Alphonse turned onto his side, letting out a soft whine and mumbling, "...nii-san...lower..." in response. Edward jumped out of bed and shook Al awake, "Aru! Do you hear that!"

The younger but slightly taller boy was jerked awake by his brother's rough shaking, "EH! Wha?"

"Shh! Aru! Listen!"

The two sat in silence for a while, and Al was about to comment on Ed's weird behavior when-

_I am a prisoner in the dungeon of the castle. My name is Zelda._

Al's eyes bugged out, "OMG, Nii-san, I CAN hear something!" Edward put a hand over his brother's mouth to silence him again, waiting for the voice to continue. All the while his mind was racing- Who's voice was that? What did they want? Was this some sort of prank? And what castle? Since when were there any castles near Risembool? Or in all of Amestris?

_The wizard, Agahnim, has done...something to the other missing descendants. Now only I remain..._

...okay, this was getting weirder. Wizard? Ed glanced down to see Al looking back up at him, trying to gauge his aniki's reaction. A flash of light illuminated the room for a moment as lightning struck outside and rain started to pour down hard from what was just recently a clear sky.

_Agahnim has seized control of the castle and is now trying to open the seven wise men's seal. I am in the dungeon of the castle..._

Lightning flashed again. There was noise downstairs, and in the dim of night the brothers swore they saw a shadowed figure outside the window. After a final crash of thunder it got eerily silent, and the voice's final plea was nearly a whisper.

_...please help me..._

"Nii-san, I'm scared. Something bad is going to happen," Alphonse said softly after removing Edward's hand. He nodded, "Let's go downstairs, see if anyone else heard it."

Together the brothers tiptoed out of their room, down the hall and the staircase, hands held firmly as if to not loose each other in the darkness. The rain had started up again, not as intense but now seemed to be dispersing. Ed could tell from his view through the front door. Wait, the front door was open? "Aru, this way," he whispered, pulling him along. He peered out, Al taking a glance over his shoulder, and they both definitely saw someone standing out in the easing rain. They appeared to be looking at the sky? They squinted for a closer look, and Al mumbled, "...Winry...?"

At hearing that, Ed did a double take. It was indeed Winry, in her nightgown, wrench in hand, and now that he noticed, Den was at her feet. They rushed over to her, Ed especially- he was worried. She looked if she was in a trance, even if he couldn't see her face. Sure enough though, when they reached her she just kept staring at the sky.

"Winry...?" Al asked timidly. Ed grabbed ahold of her shoulder and shook it slightly, "Are you okay?"

The mechanic never once adverted her eyes but at least she made it clear she acknowledged their presence. "Look..." she whispered, and raised a hand, pointing at the cloudy sky. The rain was letting up, but the clouds seemed to be gathering rapidly, growing darker.

"Nii-san...is that...?"

Ed nodded slowly, eyes narrowed and face turned to a frown, "The gate."

"W-what do we do? What's happening!" Al panicked.

"I don't know Al. But I think maybe we should get inside," Al nodded and the both of them then tried to pry Winry away from her spot. They made it a few steps before they were swallowed up by the darkness, and everything around them went black.

"Nii-san!"

"ARU!"

**eVeNTuaLLy SoMeWHeRe**

When Edward came to he was lying in a forest, his face pillowed by the soft grass. He wanted to lie there a little longer, not really caring where he was or how he got there. Eventually though, he forced himself to roll over onto his back, and he eased himself into an upright position with a hand to his head.

"What in the..." he paused, eyes widened and he gasped. It suddenly came back to him. "Al?" he called, "Winry?" Searching frantically, he found no one. Ed jumped to his feet, and noticed he was wearing brown boots. The night before- or at least he assumed his last memory was the night before- he had been barefoot, coming straight from bed. And he felt a heavy weight on his back too. Investigating this, he found he had a...SWORD AND SHIELD? He grabbed the sword hilt with his left hand and pulled it out to examine it. Oookaaayyy...but there was always time to worry about that later. What had happened to Alphonse and Winry?

He put the sword back and was about to start searching in some random direction when a feminine voice said, "You are awake." A..._familiar_ feminine voice.

He spun around, "WINRY!" and he was about pounce on her with happiness when the blonde gave him an odd look and said, "Win...ry? No, you must be mistaken. My name is Hylia (**1**)."

Ed looked crestfallen, "But...you're Winry..."

"I'm not," insisted the Winry look-a-like, and the alchemist almost thought she was going to pull out a wrench in her frustration. Much to his surprise, however, she simply kneeled to the ground and set down the bowl of water she'd been holding.

"I found you lying here this morning. I wasn't strong enough to carry you back to the village, so I tended to you here," she straightened, smoothing out the wrinkles in her nice foreign white dress, "Are you sure you're alright?"

He stared blankly at her before registering he was supposed to speak, "...uh, yeah, I'm fine. Are you sure you're not Winry...?"

Hylia twitched, obviously willing herself not to beat on the boy, "Yes, I'm _sure_." She tried to gather her composure again, asking politely, "Now I've introduced myself, be so kind as to give your name?"

"Oh! Right, I'm Edward," he replied, "Now, could you tell me if-"

"Edward," she repeated, as if trying to memorize it, "Edward."

He gave the clone a funny look, "Uh, yeah. Anyway, I was wondering-"

"You're the one, aren't you?" she asked hopefully, clasping her hands together in front of her, cutting him off again. He was really starting to get pissed at that. Being around a polite Winry was worse than the normal violent Winry, and a hell of a lot more confusing.

"Um, the...one?"

"The legendary hero, of course!" she said, "You will save us from Agahnim!"

Edward's mouth dropped open, "I WHAT? Oh nonononono, I'm going to find Winry, and Alphonse, and we're going to find a way home!" He turned around and started marching off to God knows where, when she voiced softly, "The Golden Power will help you find your way..."

He stopped and gave her a sideways glance, eyebrow arched, "The _golden power_?"

Her gaze lifted from the ground, more hopeful now that she had his attention again, "Yes! Legend says the Golden Power can grant any wish to the person who touches it. It's rumored that Agahnim has gotten his hands on the Golden Power and with it has enslaved our land!" she rushed forward and grabbed his left hand. At such close proximity you could see the height difference, and that was bugging Edo too. His eyebrow twitched as she continued, "Legends say when the Golden Power falls into the wrong hands a hero will appear! Clothed in the green of fields, the hero will appear wielding the blade of evil's bane and once again bring peace to the land!"

_Green of fields_? He glanced down at his pajamas. _Oh...crap_. "No, no wait. I-"

"You..._are_ him, aren't you?" her tone was almost pleading, with a hint of discouragement, "Y-you fit the description! Green clothes, blonde, left-handed..."

Left-handed? How did she know he was- oh, she must've seen him handling the sword earlier.

"...though I guess you're a little small, even if the prophecy never specified an age..."

Oh that did it. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING-"

"NO!" she screamed, and Ed was taken aback, tantrum forgotten. It was usually _him_ that frightened _other_ people. "Gods, no. Please, my brother does that. I hate it."

Ed stared. Brother? "Brother?"

She nodded sadly, "Yes, my younger brother, I haven't seem him in so long. He was kidnapped by Agahnim!"

Remembering back to the mysterious voice, before he realized he found himself saying, "One of the missing descendants..."

Hylia nodded vigorously in response to that, "Yes! So you know! You MUST be the hero, after all!"

"Actually I-"

"Won't you help us Sir Edward?" she asked, then added, "...we'll reward you greatly!"

Stare. Sir Edward? _Winry_ called him _Sir_ Edward. Wtf...then his eyes lit up, "Reward?" and he shook his head soon after, "No, I don't need any reward." At Hylia's disappointed expression he added, "Fine, I'll help you. All I want is Alphonse and Winry back."

"Yes! As I said before, the Golden Power will grant you anything you desire, once you take it from Agahnim."

He rolled his eyes, "Right. The golden power."

Suddenly the clone grabbed Edward's hand again and started dragging him in a random direction. Well, random to him anyway. This girl probably knew her way around.

"I'll take you to Grandma!" she said cheerfully, "She'll know what you need! You probably need to see the village elder. Unfortunately he's in hiding right now, what with all the evil," she glanced back at Ed who gazed back at her skeptically, "D-don't worry! I'm sure Grandma knows where he is!"

**SKiP aHeaD! >THaT ViLLaGe PLaCe**

The two made their way through the 'forest', which Hylia later called the Haunted Grove. Edward shuddered- yeah, that was a fitting name. It didn't _look_ too scary, but that eerie music...

Eventually they reached a clearing, and in the distance they spotted a large wooden sign. Ed tried to make out the words, "Ca...ca-cu..."

"Kakariko Village," Hylia said dryly. Edo put a hand behind his head and smiled sheepishly, "Uh, yeah. That's what I meant to say."

She muttered under her breath, "Of course it was..." and pulled him along. Entering the village Edward saw colorful homes scattered about, with a paved path weaving around them. Hylia let go of his hand and broke out into a run towards the long hut on top of a hill. Ed followed.

"Grandma! Grandma!" she shouted, throwing open the front door, "The Hero has come to save us!"

A withered old woman with pale pink hair tied into a pointed bun looked up from her reading, pipe in hand, "Hero, eh?"

Ed blinked at her as she in turn seemed to be sizing him up...no pun intended. "Pinako?"

"Eh? Pinako?" she took a drag from her pipe, "I'm afraid not. Never heard the name before."

"Don't worry Grandma," Hylia reassured, "Apparently he gets names confused. Kept calling me Winry."

"Ah."

Edward put up his hands, "Okay, but this is getting too weird. I might be able to believe there's someone else that looks exactly like Winry. But Pinako too? Who's next, Roy? You gotta be pulling my leg."

They blinked at him, "Why would we pull on your leg?"

"It's an expression!" he 'hmph'ed and sat down on a wooden stool next to a wooden table. Come to think of it, everything was made of wood. "You guys are really big on wood, huh?" He received no response, so he said, "Alright, I agreed to help you. Now what am I supposed to do?"

"Oh! That's right!" Winry- er, Hylia- clasped her hands again, "Grandma, we need to take Sir Edward to see the Elder! Don't you know where he is?"

Another drag, "I do indeed. Here," she got up from her chair in the far corner and took an old-looking map from a tabletop, "I'll mark the place on this map for you. Go there, and talk to the Elder. He'll tell you what you need and where you can find it," she finished scribbling something on the old parchment and handed it to him, "I hope you make it, young man. Not just for the poor children Agahnim has captured, but for all the land of Hyrule."

Ed twitched. The land was called Hyrule? What kinda dumb- "Right. I'll, uh, get right on this."

"Here," Hylia turned to him again, handing him a satchel full of food, "Take this with you. Watch out for guards and...be safe." She pushed him out the door but before shutting it, she smiled warmly and said, "May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce."

After the girl closed the wooden door in his face, he stood there for a few minutes. First- when did Winry ever smile like that? That was creepy in itself, proof enough that wasn't really her. But then his mind wandered onto what she'd said. Triforce? What the crap is a _triforce_? He shook his head and, opening the map, started walking towards the south exit of the village.

**-PauSe-**

**1**- I had NO idea what to call her! Zelda is the ONLY girl in the entire game! At least the OTHER games all have at least ONE more girl's name I could use! Well at least I didn't just make up some word, Hyrule used to be inhabited by people called the Hylia. And then there's Lake Hylia. REMEMBER? BE HAPPY I'M NOT MAKING HER ZELDA OKAY? Unless you're a EdXWinry fan, then you can just be sad.

**A/N:** Okay, okay, so I stole a few lines from the legend of Wind Waker. So what? A Link to the Past gives me little to work with. And the whole Zelda thing at the beginning is COMPLETELY WORD FOR WORD what she says. WELL, almost. I changed "girls" to "descendants" because as you can see I want some of the descendants to be boys. So...

WHAT THINK YOU! REVIEW IT!


	2. Sahasrala and the Pendant of Courage

**A/N:** By the way! I have way too many Tales of Symphonia references in here, I'll just lable them with footnote numbers. You don't have to know ToS to read this but it'd be somewhat funnier if you did.

**-PLaY-**

**CHaPTeR TWo: SaHaSRaLa aND THe PeNDaNT oF CouRaGe**

Edward had been wandering the land for a few hours already his first day as the "Hero", and although the map given to him by the Pinako look-a-like was very skillfully drawn, he was still having problems reading it and it was frustrating to say the least.

"Lesse...I went south out of Kakariko...then East, through the Haunted Grove," shudder, "Some more paths...then I come to...a bridge?" His gaze flicked up. Sure enough, there was a heavily-guarded bridge up ahead of him. "Ah, great! How am I supposed to get past the guards? Didn't Hylia say guards were bad?" Well, not in so many words, but he felt he should avoid them. He checked his options, "Nope, can't swim across. The ledges are too steep, and they'd see me for sure," he sighed in frustration, "And I can't use alchemy! Wtf man! The sooner I get out of here the better!" He plopped down on the ground and thought. /Well, I could probably run past them, that heavy armor seems to weigh them down.../ he sprang to his feet, "Yeah I bet I could do it!"

So the pint-sized alchemist raced off without a second thought, gaining speed and dashed across the bridge with four guards in colorful armor chasing after him. Slowly but surely Ed was getting away because the longer they went the further they were left behind. Edward let out a victory cry/That was brilliant! Piece of cake! Mm, cake.../ He turned left through a break in the mountainous terrain, and froze. "Oh...shit..." As far as he could see it looked like a maze, and all the extra guards to dodge- armed with swords, knives, crossbows, spears, and anything else- made him wish he was back at the bridge. He checked his map again, apparently this was the right way to go. Why would the elder dude hide in a place so heavily guarded by the enemy? Maybe to throw them off his trail...

Instead of running headlong into danger as usual, Edo decided to use stealth, clinging to the canyon walls and sneaking around the guards. And it was working/Damn these guys are stupid./

He made it into a clear area- well, clear of guards anyway- and checked the map again. "Pinako's mark says he should be right..." he looked up, "Here." Nothing. "WTF MAN! Now what am I supposed to..." his eyes trailed down. There was a hole, BIG hole, a few feet in front of him. Step, step, "OH..." There was a, um, hut? below him.

So Edo hopped down into the canyon-like thing and just waltzed right into the, er, hut. It was completely dark save for a few torches which really didn't help any. He could make out a figure standing in the back of the room, which he assumed to be the village elder he was searching for.

"Um...excuse me," he called out, "Are you the, uh, Elder?"

"...who wants to know...?" replied a low creepy voice.

He scratched the back of his head, messing up his already unruly braid, "I was sent here by..._Hylia_...and her grandmother, because they said I was...the _hero_."

Edward could just FEEL the cold eyes scaling him in the dark, "...yes, you look like it. Very well," all of a sudden the torch lights got a little brighter and the figure stepped forward, "I am Sahasrahla." In the new light Ed could almost make out his face...

"...YOU'RE A WOMAN?"

"No, how dare you say that," he said in a more womanie voice, crossing his arms under his ample chest. Ed squinted to get a better view as he thought he recognized him...

"...DANTE?"

Now she just looked at him funny. "Look, if you're supposed to be the new Hero then you better get off the crack, boy."

"Crack! No!" Edo shook his head for emphasis, and sighed, "Look, if you wanna crossdress that's fine," he paused a moment to take in the elaborate green DRESS she was wearing, "but you don't have to go and insult me."

"You insulted ME!" she huffed, "I am a very attractive man, thank you very much!"

Ed: O.O;;; ...

"Now, do you want my help or don't you?"

He sighed, "_Psycho_...OKAAAY I'll take your help, whatcha got?"

Dante stepped forward and pulled a marker out of a sleeve pocket. "You have a map, yes? Let me see it," Ed hands it to her and she scribbles on it quite like Pinako had. Handing it back, he glances at it as she continues, "The place I've marked on your map is where you'll find the first thing you need on your journey, the Pendant of Courage. By getting the gem, it proves you have the potential to be the Hero of legend. Get it, and bring it back here to show me. If you do, I'll-"

"Wait wait, back up," he cut in, raising his hands in front of him to silence her, "Why do you want this thing? Why should I trust you with it?" he raised an eyebrow suspiciously, and she reflected his expression, "I don't _want_ it. Show it to me as proof that you actually _got_ it, and I'll supply you with equipment and instructions for the rest of your journey. And why wouldn't you trust me, what have I ever done to you? Paranoid freak."

"Nonono, you're Dante, the crazy evil immortal lady that controls the sins? I didn't forget your past, unlike EVERYONE ELSE I seem to've met since I've been here!"

There was a long period of silence as there stared each other down, the Elder seeming to consider his response. Finally, she said lowly, "...yeah, off the crack, kid. Now out you go!"

Edward was still pining for a comeback when the gender-confused ushered him out of the hut and slammed the door in his face. Come to think of it, quite like Winry had. /What the _HEEELL_ is going on/

Nevertheless, still wanting this golden power to get him home, Edo opened up his map again and searched for the mark, also trying to figure out his own location in relation to his destination. "You know, this'd be alot easier if it had one of those 'You Are Here' symbols like they have in malls and stuff that follows you around on the map, and I don't care if they don't have malls back here in 1915 and that I shouldn't know what one is, because damnit, I'm making a reference to something!" he paused to take a deep breath, "Wow you know, Al would be proud of me, I said all those big words..." because to Edward, anything longer than his name is a big word.

So ANYWAY Edo figures out the map and starts walking again, "Huh, this place is really close to here. She didn't have to mark the map, she could've just pointed...SHIT!" he bolted into a run as he realized he was discovered by a group of guards in his pointless musing. He tried to loose them, running around and weaving through the mini canyons, until he came to a large, old-looking building. "_PLEASE_ let that be where I'm supposed to go!" he screeched, jumping over a wall and going inside.

Inside the building it was dark and cold and wet, but he seemed to have lost the guards this time so Edo didn't pay the conditions any mind. "PHEW! That was...too close..." he panted, leaning against the wall. He glanced at the map in his hands again, "Looks...like this is it..." he stayed there 'till he fully caught his breath, then proceeded forward.

"Damn. This place looks like...a dungeon? I'm supposed to find the gem in a dungeon? This place creeps me out more than Lab five! And that was...something..."

Edo then proceeds through the dungeon. After the entrance, he saw three doors. "Aw, GREAT! Now which one do I take?" But then the little -coughemphasisonlittlecough- prodigy noticed a sign pointing to a rather large hole in the ground that he almost fell into and was shockingly surprised he didn't notice it before. The sign read, "Quick Jump to Boss, here- " (**1**)

Edo: ... eh, okay?

So hagane no unknowingly (and rather stupidly) jumps down the hole because hey! A sign told him to! He landed flat on his ass in a room much brighter than the previous one. He stood up rubbing his sore ass. "Huh. Well that was quick."

Everyone reading this story: NAH, REALLY?

He walked over to the big door in front of him with a huge, er, pig or something face etched onto it. A sign next to the door read, "Boss - " Edward blinked. "_Oukei_, blunt." Nevertheless he went through the door.

DUN DUN DUN! Wondering who the boss is aren't you?

Ed was speechless. He was wide-eyed, covered in sweatdrops, and utterly speechless. The person standing- er, bouncing- before him was-

"WHEE! BOKU WA **ARMOS KNIGHT**!" cried one Roy Mustang as he hopped around the room in armos knight fashion. (99);

Ed coughed, "and _ORE_ wa RUNNING AWAY." The blonde turned around and managed one step towards the door when big strong arms grabbed him from behind and PICKED HIM UP omfg! Edo was just DYING omfg!

...the village is on FIRE! omgwtfbbq! XD (**2**)

"NO! WE PLAY! ASOBU ASOBU **ASOBU**!" Armos-Roy squeezed tighter with each 'asobu' until he was unknowingly choking Edo.

Edo: -hack- -weeze- -cough-

"T-Taisa..." he managed to gasp. This received a tighter hug (if possible) in response.

"_IYA_! CHIGAU! ARMOS **KNIGHT**!"

Ed nodded vigorously, "armos...KNIGHT...lemmegoplease!"

Blink. "Okay!" Roy dropped Ed on his face. "We play now?" He stopped bouncing and tilted his head curiously.

Ed could've just died from the hilarity of it (I mean really, imagine ROY doing this). "S-sure...we'll play...uh, but first, do you have something called the uh, pendant of courage?"

"Dunno. What's it look like?"

"I don't know!" He threw his hands up into the air, "All I know is some gender-confused freak says I need it for some effed up reason so that she'll give me stuff or so that I can do stuff to get this stupid 'golden power' when all I want IS TO GO HOME WITH MY ARU-CHAN! Oh, and Winry."

"Whoa. Green midget talks fast."

Edo! -towers over roy with raging flames behind him- What.Did.You.SAY!

Roy: -cowers in fear-

"NOW do you HAVE the THING or DON'T YOU?"

"M-maybe?"

"Well then GIMMIE!" he exclaimed exasperated. Roy pulled a green thing that had little white swirl things on it out of his pocket. "Kore?"

Ed eyed it suspiciously, "Where did you get that?"

"Um, crazy lady gimmie then say STAY.AND.GUARD but I no really understand so I just play!" he paused for air, "Want it?"

"I guess," the 'Hero' snatched it from the middle-aged man with a five-year-old's mind (a/n: remind you of anyone?), "If this isn't it I could just come back..." he sighed, not really wanting to play hide-and-seek with the guards again. He was gonna leave again when Roy picked him up...again.

"No you said you'd play with me!"

"Oh for the love of..." Ed muttered under his breath, "I'm busy right now! I'll come back and play with you later!" he lied.

"No you won't!" It's not like Roy could tell he was lying, he just felt that if they didn't play RIGHT NOW then they never would. Which is kinda right. Children's minds work weird.

"Put me down!"

"Not 'till you play!"

"I'm busy! I got places to be right now!"

"No you stay!"

"But-"

"NO!"

"FINE!" That's was IT! Edward was going to KILL Roy when the world became un-messed up or whatever the hell was wrong!

"Okay okay! Let's play EB!" (**3**)

Ed blinked, "E...B...?"

"Uh-huh! I do something, and you try to copy it EXACTLY. It's fun, watch!" Armos-Roy threw his hands into the air. Ed sweatdropped and slowly lifted his arms up uncertainly.

"There you go! Next," Armos-Roy covered his face with his arm like he was crying.

/Perfect! Now's my chance/

Roy peeked to see if Ed was doing it, and saw...nobody.

"MATTE GREEN MIDGET-SAN! COOOME BAAACK!"

**-PauSe-**

**1**- In Tales of Syphonia you can Quick Jump through mazes and dungeons and stuff after you've beaten them already. View the skit "For Lazy People" when entering the Tower of Mana for the final time and Lloyd says "they could at least give us a Quick Jump option!" and everyone else is "eh? what's quick jump?" X)

**2**- Quote from a ToS walkthrough...heh, don't kill me... TTTT

**3**- I don't even know if this is a real game. I doubt it. Genis plays it with the pink Katz in Izoold in ToS...yeah, I'm obsessed...BUT WHO CAN BLAME ME? MITHOS AND GENIS ARE JUST TOO CUTE TOGETHER! LloydXGenis is okay too...

And now onto...**TRANSLATING ROY!** Yeah, Roy talks Japanese. Don't ask.

Boku wa/Ore wa both kinda mean "I am". I know Roy generally says ore but I wanted him to be acting overly child-like.

Asobu basically means "play". Wrath says it alot. It's cute.

Iya is pretty much "NO!" or loosely "I don't wanna!".

Chigau is sorta "wrong".

Kore basically means "this".

Matte is "wait".

Notice Roy is kind of acting Ryuuichi-esque? And that wasn't even my intention. But it fits good!

NO Roy is not actually turned into a kid! Just so no one's confused okay!


	3. The Desert of Mystery and the Pendant of

**-PLaY-**

**CHaPTeR THRee: THe DeSeRT oF MySTeRY aND THe PeNDaNT oF PoWeR**

He escaped.

Yay!

...no, seriously.

Ed panted from running, standing just outside Sahas-Dante's hut. Damn Roy was scary. What the crap with that EB thing man?

"Yo Dante," Ed called as he strolled in.

"Sahasrahla!" she snapped. He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, whatever. Anyway, is this the thing?" he held the green gem out for her to see.

"YES!" she exclaimed loudly, causing him to jump. "That is the Pendant of Courage. Well done! It must have taken you through horrible experiences to get it."

He sighed, "You have no idea..."

"Well, ethical or no, you've proven yourself to be the Chosen...er, Hero," (**1**) she continued, "so I'll give you what I promised."

She produced a brown satchel from out of nowhere and handed it to him. "In there you'll find all the items you need for your journey, and anything you're missing you'll no doubt pick up along the way. Now, hand me your map again, I'll mark all of your other destinations," she grabbed the old parchment from his hands before he had a chance to offer it to her, and scribble even more stuff on it with her uber-cool red sharpie marker. Where did she get a red sharpie marker? It's one of the mysteries of life.

She handed it back to him and he studied it while she narrated, "Go west to the Desert of Mystery first, and get the Pendant of Power. Then go north to the Tower of Hera, and get the Pendant of Wisdom. With the three pendants you'll be able to draw the Master Sword from it's resting place in the Lost Woods. With the sword, also called the Blade of Evil's Bane, you'll surely be able to stop Agahnim, and then the land will be saved."

"And I'll get the golden power thingie?"

"...and you'll get the," she sighed at his term, "'golden power _thingie_'."

Edo: w00t!

"BUT!" she held out her index finger all scolding-like, "Only if you defeat Agahnim! Okay?"

"Yeah yeah I get it okay! Kill wizard, get prize. Just like a video game!" he paused and scratched his head, "...now how do I know what video games are either?"

He stumbled out of Sahas-Dante's hidden chamber and started towards his next destination. Onward to the Desert of Mystery!

**FaSTFoRWaRD! >DeSeRT oF MySTeRy**

"OMG..." Ed panted and collapsed against a large rock, "I HATE deserts. You'd think I would've learned my lesson from walking all the way to Lior but NOOO..."

He looked down the path ahead, wiping the sweat from his brow. At the far end of his vision he could see a dark blob in the middle of golden sand.

"I...I think that's it..." he stood and took a few steps away from the rock before he broke out into a run, eager to get out of the heat even if it meant a creepy dungeon again. Besides, another creepy dungeon down, another step closer to his goal, right?

As he got closer and closer to it, the blobs became clearer. That was definitely the mouth of a dungeon there, but...

There were three big green rocks, two in the bottom corners of the platform and one at the center top, blocking the entrance. Ed inspected the rock; it was impossible to go around or climb over. "The hell...?"

There was a green stone slab in the center of the platform, with some writing on it, most of which was in some odd language, but at the top just said 'Book of Mudora'.

"Great! What, I need some book now!" He dug through the satchel Sahas-Dante gave him, looking for ANYTHING that might even RESEMBLE a book. Nothing. "I'll have everything I need, my ass. The first thing I need and it's not here! WTF?"

He really wanted to kill something. Of all the times to not be able to use alchemy!

So he sat. And thought.

"I don't wanna go all the way back to Dante!" he whined pathetically, sitting in front of the slab and pouting. Then a thought occurred, "Kakariko's not too far from here...maybe Winry can help..."

**DeTouR! > KaKaRiKo ViLLaGe**

_pant_... _pant_...

"I need a Rheaird..." (**2**)

Edo got back to Kakariko in an hour or two and who else but Hylia-Winry was there to greet him. Er...yeah.

"Sir Edward!" she shouted, dropping everything (...-crash-) and running over to him, "You look exhausted! You left the village just yesterday, I can only wonder how much you've accomplished since!"

Ed stared. "...YESTERDAY? I'VE BEEN OUT DOING THIS OVER NIGHT?"

Hylia-Winry blinked, "'Night'? What is 'night'?"

Their conversation went something like this:

Edo: -.-;;; ...you don't know what night is?

H-W: -shakes head-

Edo: YOU know...when it's DARK and you SLEEP?

H-W: -scratches head confused-

Edo: O.O;;; You're not serious.

H-W: -nods-

Edo: ... -faints-

**LaTeR! > iN THe HouSe**

Edo: -blink- ...eh?

H-W: You're awake! -pounces-

Edo: Wha!

"I was so worried about you Sir Edward, you just passed out right there! You must've been more exausted than I thought!" she exclaimed, hugging his head, unknowingly smothering his face in her chest. A small pink line came over his face. "Uh..."

However 'Pinako' noticed, "Hylia, put him down."

"Uh, yes grandmother."

Silence.

"...sooo, um, what happened...?"

Hylia thought, "Well, we were talking about this 'night' thing when you just passed out."

"Oh that's right..." Ed blinked as a thought struck him, "You can't SERIOUSLY not know what NIGHT is."

Pinako butted in because she felt like it, "What is this night you speak of, Hero? Is it something from your native land?"

Ed was ready to beat himself over the head with something, "It's when it gets DARK and people usually go to SLEEP."

Hylia fell backward at the outburst. Pinako just sucked a pipe.

"What do you mean 'when it gets dark'? When _what_ gets dark?"

Edo: oo

"Uh, the _SKY_! Che'!"

Hylia clasped a hand over her mouth, "The sky turns dark where you come from? Oh no, that's a bad omen isn't it, Grandmother?"

"Don't worry dear, he probably means when the rain casts shadows over the land with clouds."

The girl sighed with relief but Ed shook his head violently.

"No! I mean when the sun goes down!"

"Whatever do you mean, 'goes down'?"

Edward stared disbelieving. "I'm not having this conversation. I'm not."

Pinako was tired too, "Let's just forget this whole thing. If it's that important we'll discuss it another day." And then she left. Why or where? I don't really know. Do I look like a psychic to you?

"Wow, I'd like to hear more tales of your homeland," The doppelganger said, "This night thing is a really interesting concept." She sighed sadly, "It's too bad you'll be on your journey and I'll be stuck here..."

Another thought struck the chibi alchemist, as if he were a chibi lightning rod. "Why don't you come with me? I could use some help you know, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing."

"You mean it!" She could barely contain her excitement. In a way, it really reminded him of Winry. "Oh, but I'd just get in your way." On the other hand, she wasn't like Winry.

"No no, seriously, I'm totally lost. You know the land and this legend thing I'm following better than I do so...what, you don't wanna become famous by helping the hero save the world?"

She started twirling golden locks around her finger in contemplation, "Well, that would be neat...I do want to help the world, and if you really need me..." she clasped her hands, "I'll do it!"

"Great! Then let's get going!"

"Right!"

"...why aren't we going?"

"Eh, do you know of a, um, what is it...book of mudora?"

"Oh!" Hylia nodded, "I think I've seen that at the library. Shall we go look?"

Ed's eye twitched. The library? It was as easy as going to the effing library? "Yeah, let's hurry."

**FaSTFoRWaRD! > KaKaRiKo LiBRaRY**

"Um, it should be..." Hylia was scanning the shelves, searching for the book.

Edo, on the other hand, was for once in his life bored by the library. "This is your library? It's got three shelves, nearly empty. You can't call this a library! This is just someone's personal collection!"

"Libraries where you come from are bigger than this?" The girl asked disinterested.

"WAAAY bigger," he looked up. "Hey, what's that?"

"Hm?" Hylia followed his gaze. A green book rested atop the left-hand shelf. "Oh, I think that's it!"

"Well...how do we get it down?"

"Er..." she thought hard, "...ram it."

"What!"

"Just...ram it, like this," she grabbed the unsuspecting boy by the arm and threw him into the bookshelf. The force knocked the book down and the blond was rubbing his throbbing head. "What the HELL was-" he stopped when he saw her looking shocked and holding her hands close to her body. "Y-your arm...that didn't feel like _flesh_..."

Edo: OO; Uh...

"It all makes sense now. All of those weird things you talk about, like that 'night' thing! You're some kind of monster from another world!" She pointed a finger accusingly, looking horrified and disgusted at once, "What..._are_ you...?"

Ed couldn't believe it. He never thought he'd hear such disapproval of automail from Winry- even if it isn't really Winry and even if he didn't know what it was. It was...shocking. /The REAL Winry...would _kick her ass_ for saying that- not because she was insulting _me_, but her _precious automail_/ Ed sulked at the bitter thought, then snapped out of it. "Hylia, I-"

"!$#$#$&&&$&#$#$#!#!#$#$&$$#$#$#$&#&!"

Edo: o.O; ...eh?

"$$&$#$#&$$&#$&&#!$#&$&!$$&&&!$$&$&!"

Edo: OO;; EHH?

"#$&$&-"

Edo: SSSTTTOOOPPP IIITTT!

H-W: OO

Edo: _Look_, you. I speak ENGLISH! GET IT? _ENGLISH_?

H-W: OO ... -nod-

"Okay, now, listen. I can only assume from your reaction that you don't have automail here. Well where I come from we have these machines called automail that are used as synthetic, er, limbs. I lost my arm and I have a metal one. See?"

H-W: -scratches head- ...me...tal...?

"OH COME ON! NOT THIS AGAIN!"

**SKiPPiNG aHeaD! > THe DeSeRT oF MySTeRy...aGaiN**

The Hero Sir Edward was once again traveling to the far land of...the Desert of Mystery. Wow, that needs a better name. ANYWAY! The was going to the really hot place again with his newest companion in tow, who surprisingly just believed his whole automail story and left it at that.

Edo: Story! But it's the truth!

...did I say it wasn't? Moving on!

The hot desert atmosphere was just KILLING Edo...er, again...but Hylia didn't seem affected at all. In fact, she was...singing?

"..._alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea_..."

Edward stopped upon hearing her words and she slammed into him, causing _him_ to fall instead of her because well duh, he's tiny.

Edo hopped back to his feet, "Is that..._numa numa_ you're singing?"

"I thought you only spoke ENGLISH, Sir Edward," she said smugly.

A red line crossed his face, "Hey! I know stuff..."

"Well yes, if you must know. It's a fun song."

Edo smiled, "Sure is. _Ma-ia-hii, ma-ia-huu, ma-ia-hoo, ma-ia-haha_..."

Hylia burst out laughing hearing him sing that part (wouldn't you?) and Ed was having so much fun he forgot about the unbearable heat. They ran the rest of the way to the Desert Palace singing.

"_Vrei sa pleci dar numa, numa iei! Numa, numa iei! Numa, numa, numa iei! Chipul tau si dragostea din tei! Mi-amintesc de ochii tai_!"

**aT THe PaLaCe eNTeRaNCe **

Edo: -pant- ... -pant- ...I can't believe I actually ran here... -collapses-

H-W: -is all energetic and crap- I'm fine! Let's go inside now!

/This is it/ Edward walked up to the stone slab and opened his book of Mudora. He read a bunch of funny words that appear at the bottom of the screen in funky symbols so I cannot rewrite them, but eventually he finishes and the rocks move.

"Haha!" The pint-sized alchemist pumped his fist into the air, "The entrance is unblocked!"

"Yes, but..." Winry tapped him on the shoulder, "Now the exit is blocked..."

Edo: oo ...

"EHH! WTF MAN!"

Cha-la-la-la! Ed's done being depressed and they go inside! This chapter is too long already and there's still a ways to go!

Ed and Hylia went up the stairs and into the mouth of the dungeon, quite literally.

"Why does the opening have to look like a mouth? It make me feel like I'm being eaten..." Hylia shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself in small comfort.

It wasn't as cold dark and damp as the first dungeon, actually it was nearly the opposite. It was slightly warm and dry, and even though it wasn't as if there was a sky light or anything, it was still brightly colored.

"It doesn't matter what it looks like, it's made to intimidate and scare people..." /Aha/ Ed noted a sign across the room. /There it is! That quick jump thing/ "Come on, Win- er, Hylia! This way!" He grabbed her hand and led her over to the conveniently-placed hole.

"You...what? You want us to fall down there?" She asked him skeptically and a little afraid.

"Well DUH, I mean, look at the sign!"

Sign: Quick Jump to boss, here --

"You really trust a sign?"

"It worked last time!"

The Hylian girl sighed, "Fine. You _are_ the Hero."

Edo grinned, "Yeah! So trust me, alright?"

So then they jumped down the hole and landed in a room filled with sand...and no door.

Hylia pounced on Ed, "GREAT! JUST GREAT! TRUST YOU? I THINK NOT! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID! NOW WE'LL BE STUCK IN HERE FOREVER TO DIE AND ROT AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"ME? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? I'M ONLY GOING ON THIS JOURNEY FOR THAT STUPID PROPHECY THAT I'VE NEVER HEARD OF AND-"

He stopped and the ground started to shake violently and the two were knocked off of their feet.

"Wha...what was-!"

"MWAHAHAHAHA! Welcome to the lair of...LANMOLAS!" Someone just suddenly popped out of the sand and dove up into the air, landing gracefully on it's soft surface.

Hylia was interested/terrified, and Edward stared incredulously.

"...ENVY?"

L-E: Eh? No, it's Lanmolas.

"HEHEHEHEHE! And I am...CHIBI-LAS!" Out popped a child with long black hair covering one eye. "Seriously though, I wanna change my name."

Edo: ... -speechless-

L-E: Well what do you want to be called?

C-W: I dunno...

Edo: ... -is still speechless-

H-W: How about Lan-no-chibi?

C-W: No no, I wanna drop the chibi.

Edo: ...WRATH?

C-W: Hm, Wrath? That's...unique...I like it...

L-E: You seriously wanna change your name? It wont be the same anymore without my chibi-las.

C-W: Yeah...

"HEY! HOMUNCULI! I DON'T WANNA BE HERE ANY LONGER THAN I HAVE TO SO JUST GIVE ME THE PENDANT OF POWER AND POINT ME TO THE NEAREST EXIT!"

L-E: Homucu-wha?

H-W: Is this how you got it last time?

"The Pendant of Power...this?" Wrath pulled something out of his pocket and held it up. It was blue with white swirls.

"Yeah yeah yeah, that's it, gimme!" Edo lunged for it but Wrath pulled his hand back. "Master Lanmolas? What would _you_ like to do?"

Envy thought, "Well, we could..._play_ with them for a while."

Hylia covered her mouth and Ed's eye twitched. /Play play PLAY! What's with all these wanna-be's and _playing_/

"What's the game _this time_?" Edwards asked annoyed. Knowing Envy it would cruel and psychotic and vulgar and-

"Tag!"

Edo: OO;; EHH?

"Here's the rules!" Envy explained, Wrath standing beside him, his head bobbing like a bobble-head doll with every statement, "The two of us will dive into the sand, and you have to tag us when we pop out, before we go back in again. You'll practically have to predict where we'll come out to catch us 'cuz we're really fast."

C-W: -nod, nod, nod...-

"Okay...ready...steady...GO!" Envy and Wrath disappeared immediately and the ground started tp shake again.

/Hm...predict, eh? Lesse...the ground should shake more violently closer to where they are, so if I just follow the strongest tremors.../ Ed pounced on cue, but he was still a little out of reach of catching Envy.

"Not bad, but still too slow, pip-squeak!"

Edo: -flames- PIP..._SQUEAK_? -is enraged-

C-W: -pops out of ground-

Edo: -tackles-

C-W: ACK!

L-E: -pops out of ground-

Edo: -tackles-

L-E: NOOO!

Edward stood there in front of the two homunculi, panting from his sudden burst of energy, hand extended, "Pendant."

Envy frowned, reluctant to admit defeat, "Fine! I didn't want to play with you anyway!" He snatched the pendant from Wrath and threw it at Ed.

Pendant: -smack-

Edo: Owie...

"Yeah! Didn't wanna play with you anyway!" Wrath chimed in.

"Shut up, Chibi-las."

"Yessir."

"WELL!" Envy said, "See you around!" And then he did a backflip, and dove into the sand like it was water. Wrath followed suit, and soon the two blondes were alone.

H-W: Er...what about letting us out?

Edo: ... -tick mark-

And suddenly there was another earthquake and the sand started to sink. The sand sunk so much that eventually a door appeared.

"A WAY OUT!"

"YIPPIE!"

So with the Pendant of Power in hand, they left the horrid place, onto their next destination- The Tower of Hera!

**-PauSe-**

**1**- Too...many...ToS...references...-dies-

**2**- Rheairds are kinda little dragon-looking machines that you can fly places...like mini-planes...it's the best way to travel! ;


	4. Death Mountain and the Pendant of Wisdom

**CHaPTeR FouR: DeaTH MouNTaiN aND THe PeNDaNT oF WiSDoM**

**-PLaY-**

After stopping off at Kakariko again for more supplies (and maybe a quick nap for ed) they continued north towards...DUN DUN DUN! Death Moutain!

Edo: -sigh- I'm afraid to know why it's called Death Moutain...

H-W: Um, I think it's because it's supposed to be impossible to climb.

Edo: I DIDN'T ASK!

It didn't take them too long to reach the base of the moutain because it's just a little up of the northern entrance of the village (not to mention the sun never leaves it's zenith so basically time stands still).

Our heros (pfft) stopped at the mouth of a cave. "This is it?" Edward asked Hylia, his walking map. Once on the moutain he'd have to use his ACTUAL map but for on the ground she was just as good.

"This is it," she confirmed, and they started inside.

It was very dark and creepy inside. It reminded Edo of the first dungeon but darker.

"Do you have a light in your satchel?" The native girl asked him. He felt around in his bag, "Well it'd be easier to tell if I had a light if I had some light!" he yelled, frusterated. Something in the back of his mind nagged that his sentence didn't make sense but that didn't matter to the chibi alchemist. He eventually felt an object that might be the shape of a lanturn. He pulled it out and felt for a switch.

"Ah! You did it!" Hylia exclaimed when their cave space was lit by a small fire. Ed couldn't help but smile, pleased. /At least Dante gave me _something_ I needed./

So they carefully pressed on, avoiding the bats and holes in the ground. Most definitely the holes. But at one point they came to a fork and were puzzled.

"I don't like the looks of that narrow path. It could cave in on us," Ed said.

Hylia tapped her chin, "But I thought that big wide paths were more likely to collapse because they have less to support them."

Edo: ... -sweatdrop-

"Are we lost, Sir Edward?"

"Um..."

"You there!" Ed held up the lanturn to see an old man approach them.

Edo: Eh, okay...

"If you are going up the mountain, will you take me with you?" The old man pleaded, "I lost my lamp, so..."

"Of course we will!" Hylia decided to volunteer, "Right?" Edo just shrugged his shoulders and the three continued on.

Apparently the guy knew the caves pretty well. While the teens lit the way, he gave directions. "You know, I have a granddaughter about your age..." he murmured. The native gave her full attention but the alchemist was disinterested.

"She was taken to the castle one day and I haven't seen her since..."

Hylia gasped and her hands flew to her mouth, meanwhile she elbowed Edward in the back of the head and he fell over, but she didn't notice. "Just like my brother! Oh you poor old man!"

Edo: itai... -twitch-

"Yes, well...kidnapping these children must be part of the wizard's plot! I believe that a Hero will come to rescue them, one day..."

"Oh yes! I know so!"

Edo: Why is 'hero' always capitalized with you people?

"These are dangerous times..." the old man bowed his head sadly, deep in thought. The group reached the opening of the cave before he continued, "I've talked too much. Anyway, as thanks for your kindness, I want to give you this," the old man handed a little blue mirror to Edo.

Edo: Erm...thanks?

"If you wander into a magical transporter, gaze into this mirror."

Edo: o-o; wha?

H-W: Okaaay! Thanks so muuuch! -waves-

So the old man wandered off and left them alone at the top of the mountain. The two blondes turned their attention ahead and gaped at what they saw. Before them stood a large red tower, a long golden staircase leading to the entrance.

"This must be the Tower of Hera! Oh, I've only heard of this place in stories! How exciting!" Hylia cried, eyes shimmering with delight. Ed was briefly reminded of a Winry moment, but dismissed it since the native seemed to dislike mention of her alter-ego.

"Well, c'mon, I wanna get this over with..." They started up the stairs with careful steps, doubtful anything would pop out at them but still cautious. Upon entering, the two found themselves in a small tiled room. On the floor were odd designs of blue and brown squares in addition to what appeared to be the normal tile.

"This place looked alot bigger from the outside..." Ed said, unimpressed. Then he noticed odd looking red-tinted orbs lying about the room. He decided to approach the one nearest them, when suddenly the blue squares shot up all around them, trapping them.

"Wha..WHAT THE HELL?"

"This must be a puzzle of some sort! A way for the boss to fend off intruders!" Hylia offered.

"NAH, REALLY?"

The girl was taken aback, "I was only trying to.." she trailed off, looking around. "Sir Edward, try the orb! It's the only thing in this space within our reach!"

Ed looked from the girl, to the ball. "Uh, alright.." He walked hesitantly over to the red object, first making sure there were no other blue tiles in their space. He kicked the orb, testing. It turned blue on contact.

Just as sudden as they had shot up, the blue spikes (**1**) disappeared into the ground. Only to be replaced with brown spikes. "DAMNIT!"

"But it looks as if we're making progress! Our area is bigger now!"

Ed looked around. Hylia was right, their space _was_ bigger. They had almost half the room, compared to the box they started out with.

"Okay then, let's try it again." He went to his left, near another blue-tinted orb. Hylia watched him, and noticed something he apparently didn't. "Sir Edward, I don't think-!" But it was too late. He delivered a blow to the orb, and blue spikes shot up around both of them. "ACK! WHAT DO WE DO NOW?"

Hylia ran over to the orb in her space and slammed her fist onto it. The spikes traded off again.

Ed ran over to her, "I don't wanna try that again!"

"But we have to! Look, look at the floor," she motioned left, "There's a blue ring around us here, and where you just were. Over here," she motioned right, "the only way blocking is brown. If we hit that orb, we should be free to wander the rest of the room."

Edo nodded as he followed along. "Alright, c'mon." He grabbed her hand with his flesh one, which caused her to blush slightly, and led her to the side of the room, paying more attention to the floor patterns. When he felt they'd be safe where they were, he kicked the nearest orb again and braced himself as the spikes traded off. He cracked one eye open when it was over, and then the other, and smiled. "It worked!"

Hylia smiled too, and said, "Come, Hero. Your destiny awaits."

She started to wander in the direction of the middle brown tiles, and Ed huffed. He still didn't believe in this hero business. He noticed his sword was weighing pretty heavy on his shoulder, so as he was passing the blue orb he switched shoulders. Unfortunately, the weight of the sword caused it to swing as he moved, and it knocked into the orb, making it red again. Before he even realized, the spikes interchanged, and Hylia let out a scream.

His eyes widened, "Oh SHIT! WINRY! I mean, HYLIA! CAN YOU HEAR ME? ARE YOU OKAY?" He dropped everything and ran to the raised brown spikes, "Oh god, what have I done, you're not hurt are you!" He came back to his senses a little and went back to the orb, sliding to strike it. The brown spikes disappeared again, and a body lay on the other side.

"Oh god oh god, please tell me you're alright," He hurried back over and lifted her up. He examined her closer; her dress was a little torn but that aside she appeared to be fine. Dazed, she sat up all the way on her own and shook her head to clear it. That's when Ed noticed, "Your hair..."

She glanced up, and noticed it too. A section of her hair had been sliced to shoulder-length. The rest of it was still down to her middle-back.

"Oh no.." she picked the pieces of her hair off of the floor, craddling it.

"It's all my fault, I'm so sorry!" Edward exclaimed. He opened his mouth as if to say more but the girl just shook her head. "No, it's alright. It was an accident. And, it's just hair. It will grow back. It's not as if I'm missing a limb." She smiled at him, but he could tell she was still a little upset. Who wouldn't be? But she was right, it could grow back. They had more important things to do.

"S-so, um, should we continue? Can you walk?" He helped her up. "Yes, I'm fine, really." She smiled again, more genuine this time, "You're such a kind person."

Ed's cheeks turned a tinted pink and he looked away, "No, not really.."

She giggled and grabbed his hand this time, "I think it's time for us to go."

He looked back, and in front of them was, what else, the Quick Jump.

"Alright, here we go!" He jumped into the dark abyss with Hylia in tow. Ed was the first to land, into a squat quite gracefully, with a quiet tap of his boots on the stone floor. His companion however, did not have the experience one gets from fights with chimera and homunculi, and thusly did not land as easily.

She fell ontop of him, sending poor little Edo's face into the ground.

"Son of a- would you get off!"

"I- I'm sorry.."

They pulled themselves up from a tangled mess of bodies and looked around. The dungeon was very dimly lit, it was almost hard to make out features in the room. But one thing Edward did note was the pitch black spots scattered about the floor.

"Be careful where you step. I think there might be holes in the floor."

"Right."

They took a few hesitant steps forward in the darkness when something sounded behind them. By this time their eyes had adjusted to the darkness so it was no longer too difficult to see. They twirled around only to come face to face with a large drooling monster.

"Gluttony!"

The former homunculus took a few steps forward, tracking drool as he went. He looked down upon the pair as if they were nothing but slabs of meat...

"Why have you entered Moldorm's lair..?" he growled, licking his lips. Ed paused for a minute, "Gluttony talks?" before pulling out his sword and held it in a defensive stance against the other. "We're here for the pendant thing of something or other! Now hand it over or else!"

"Pendant..?" he slurred slowly, unfazed by Ed's threat, "I'm not sure what you mean. But you're not going anywhere..." he licked his lips again, drool splattering every which way, "You're my next meal..."

"EEK!" Hylia ducked behind Edward to shield herself from the beast.

"I don't think so!" The alchemist charged, leaving the native girl by herself, and swung his sword into Gluttony's stomache full force..

..only to be thrown back, sliding to a stop, just short of falling into a hole in the floor.

"Sir Edward!" Hylia rushed to his side to help him up.

"Okay, so my blows bounce off of him. Now what!"

Hylia looked around. The blow had bounced Ed behind Gluttony, and the later was none too quick about moving. He started to turn around as Hylia caught something out of the corner of her eye.

"Sir Edward look! Look there, behind the beast! Did you see that glimmer of color?"

Edo's vision was slightly blurred from the contact but he managed to see something, "I think..why?"

"That might be his weak spot!"

"...why does it always sound easy?" He got to his feet, "And why are you always the one to notice these things?"

H-W: -shrugs-

"Anyway...alright Gluttony! Come at me!" He got into a fighting stance, sword pointed forward.

"You will rue the day you crossed Lord Moldorm, chibi!" The blob cried as he charged.

"SERIOUSLY, since when does Gluttony talk!" The alchemist started running towards him too, "AND I'M NOT A CHIBI!"

The two ran until they were mere feet apart. Gluttony swiped a large arm forward, and Edward dodged, jumping behind him. Before the beast could turn around Ed had thrust his sword into his colorful back, and he arched back, crying out in pain. His massive body dissolved and in his place sat a round red object with two white swirls.

"The Pendant of Wisdom..." Ed smirked, "Alright, Dante said once I had all three Pendants I could get the Master Sword. Where's that at, Hylia?"

"I believe the Master Sword sleeps within the Lost Woods," she answered.

Edo grinned. He was actually sort of getting used to this hero thing. It made him feel good.

He pumped a fist into the air. "Well then, next stop, the Lost Woods!"

**-PauSe-**

**A/N:** Eh heh...I made this chapter a little more serious than the others. I dunno, I just felt like some drama I guess. Plus I couldn't really think of a "game" for them to play with Gluttony like the other bosses. Hope no one minds. And I want no flames about Winry getting attacked with spikes.

**1**- I made them spikes instead of columns because it's more threatening.


End file.
